Young love is hard.
The teenage years are like a vibrant adventure with a splash of chaos along the way. It's a time full of first loves and intense feelings, and when heartbreak happens, it can feel pretty tough. Ever get broken up with on Valentine’s Day? Yep, that sucks, no matter how old you are. But when you’re still developing your emotional coping strategies, it can really be confusing and frustrating.
The teen years can be tough to navigate, especially when it comes to those intense feelings. This period is all about growing, learning about emotions, and figuring out relationships. It's not just about growing up—it's an essential part of shaping who we are emotionally.
Teen Emotions: The Wild Roller Coaster That Might Make You Hurl
Valley View Health Centers’ Director of Behavioral Health, Stephanie Craft, has some valuable insights into how teenagers process emotions differently compared to adults. During the teenage years, emotions can feel all-encompassing. "Everything is a 10," she says, highlighting how intense these feelings can be. "With all the changes—they're emotional, hormonal, social—facing a breakup can seem even tougher."
“It's just about emotional development. Developmentally, where they're at with it and that vulnerability and learning to cope; it's a lifelong process, you know? But especially with teenagers, they're they're dealing with so many changes anyway. So, it's just it's just the natural human development and where they're at.”
Ooh Child, Things are Gonna Get Easier…
Stephanie shares a helpful tip for the young and forlorn: it's okay to be sad and grieve. In fact, it’s necessary. In her words, "You gotta sit in it for a minute." Acknowledging pain and accepting it as part of having loved is important.
This idea isn't just for teens; it helps anyone facing a breakup, especially during seasons full of expectation like Valentine's Day.
It’s not something that is evident at first, but grief is closely tied with love. When you recognize this bond, it can help you process those emotions more healthily.
“Whether it's been one year or five years or longer, you know, that grief exists forever because that love exists forever. Love doesn't go away, but grief replaces that. So now what do you do with that?”
Luckily, there are strategies that can help.
Emotions: Feel, Don’t Hide
A key takeaway from Stephanie's advice, no matter how old you are, is experiencing emotions fully. "You gotta be present and in your feelings," she says.
Pushing emotions away can extend heartache and even manifest physically. By letting emotions flow, one can naturally progress through stages of grief.
The most important thing to remember is you can’t pressure “just getting over it” and that grief has no timeline. As Stephanie says, "whether it's been one year or five years, that grief exists forever because love exists." Accepting this and knowing the relationship between them can make it easier to handle.
"This time of year for anybody with loss or breakups, we tell our people who are grieving and going through this this time of year, especially for Valentine's Day and holidays, the biggest key is is you gotta be in it. You gotta sit in it for a minute, you know, and appreciate the grief because that's part of being loved and loving somebody is."
Why Therapy Matters
Walking through grief can feel lonely. However, having support makes it easier. Stephanie emphasizes how crucial outside support can be. Whether through therapy or talking to friends, sharing what you feel really helps.
Support isn't just about listening; it's about learning from different perspectives and finding helpful ways to cope.
Many hesitate to seek therapy, often thinking it's just talking. It’s not.
Stephanie recommends that everyone should at least try it once.
“I think it you gotta try it at least once, you know. And I always tell people even if you don't get with the right therapist the first time, try until you land with the right one. But definitely just being heard matters. A lot of people walk out of our office after the first time and say just being able to feel like somebody heard me helped a lot.”"
Finding the right fit may not be immediate, but having someone who listens without judgment can be deeply healing. Just being heard and validated brings relief.
Therapy includes discussions, gaining new perspectives, and finding new ways to cope. It's a place for exploring emotions and building emotional resilience. And it might help you heal, too.
Advice For The Young At Heart
Navigating the emotional ups and downs of teen years, especially heartbreak, requires understanding, acceptance, and reaching out. As teens face these challenges, embracing grief and seeking connection can be critical to their growth.
Stephanie’s insights highlight the healing power of presence in one’s feelings and the importance of a support system. If you could use that kind of support, we at Valley View Health are always in your corner, and just a phone call away.
If you’re struggling, please reach out and make an appointment with one of our behavioral health experts. We’re always here to help you through the tough patches.
Recognizing the ongoing dance between love and grief, everyone can find their path to emotional wellness.